Freeze

As I'm sitting here in the middle of winter, anxiously, scratch that dying for it to get warmer and less dreary around here and hoping that we will get through this season super fast; I can't help but think about freezing. Freezing time would be about perfect right now, while I wish it was not freezing outside the thought of actually freezing my family would be great. Time never seems to slow down in this house and honestly I like it that way. We always have a million parties, activities and kids running around and this is a dream come true. Some people have the perfect job and they love what they do. I've personally been struggling with that lately and while from the outside to some it may look like I don't "work" this is what my childhood heart has always dreamed. You may have wanted to be a vet or doctor when you were a kid, but for me it was always a mommy. I went to college I got the degree and its just "okay" I have never loved that, but the day my babies came into my life I was like okay this is it, this is what makes me happy and have a purpose. This winter season seems to be slow because of the long days that we can't go outside and it seems to get dark so quick but at the same time we are already filling out kindergarten forms for Harper. How in the world did that happen!? Getting all the paperwork out to teachers, doctor's offices, etc making sure that we have everything checked off the list is a task. I looked back the other day at my sweet baby and she seems so mature all the sudden. Harper was the epitome of threenager, she had the sass and attitude and we thought for sure we were not making it out of the last year and a half alive. In the last several months its almost like a light switch. She is so helpful and just listens! Which may not sound like a big deal but for the first time in a long time, I tell her something and she just does it..weirrrddd. She helps with her brothers, eats all of her dinner(another major deal, since we fought her every.single.night), and is just a joy to be around.  Now its like when she gets to be this little angel all over again, its time for her to leave. Kindergarten and I are not friends right now. Harper could not be more excited, mainly to ride the bus because she will not have to be in a car seat or wear a seat belt so she cannot wait! I obviously am so excited for her to be in "big girl" school and start this new adventure but I'm so sad to loose my buddy, all day, every day. It's like you work so hard to form and shape this little person into who you want them to be and then you just have to hand them over to someone else who they spend their entire days with. You relinquish all responsibility of your perfect little human to someone else and they get to stare and listen to that beautiful little face all day. A piece of me is going to kindergarten with her, and I know she is going to absolutely love it there. She is a brilliant, funny and creative little soul and she is dying to learn and grow. So here I go, finishing up my babies kindergarten registration wishing I could freeze her just a little while longer, maybe forever. My dream job will continue and there will always be a need for me, but like anything its hard to let your biggest, most perfect project go.